Vivienne's Birthday Party- mal zwei! (times two)

It was a pool party!

chalk and marker festivities

"now, would you look at that cake!"

Melissa made this cake for Vivienne! yes, she made it from scratch- Barbie even had icing earings and ring! How sweEEeeeet.

she had a lot of helping hands opening gifts!

Dear Vivienne,

Two years ago, life gave me the best gift imaginable. You happened and then we happened. I don't remember the precise moment I fell in love with you. Moments are flying by and you are growing older and growing up. I don't want to forget anything... I have photos to remind me. Many joke that no other child has had as many photos taken of themselves. So be it. Digital space allows memories to hold on longer, and if it helps me to remember that you used to tap your finger on your high chair when you wanted more to eat or that you danced to salsa music when you couldn't even walk or that your breath always smelled so sweet and distinctly yours -
then so be it.

I don't know why it is so easy to forget. I'm pretty sure that if I didn't document every last detail of your life I would be mourning all the yesterdays: when you would sleep next to me, days old, with a massive poof of dark hair and the sweetest chubby cheeks my eyes have seen.

If I didn't have photographs of you in your purple flowered baby doll cap, I might not be able to remember how cherubic you looked, how your "serious" - "contemplative" side started to emerge. I wouldn't remember how silly but somehow cute that hat was on your tiny head....

You are starting to become your own person this year. Or I suppose it's just that I know you differently now. The more you communicate and disagree and love me and frustrate me. The more you trust me, believe me, cry tears when I'm trying to tell you it's time to change your diaper, tickle me or massage my back. The more you kiss me, hug me or tell me "I love you Mama"...unprovoked. You are becoming more real.

How did this happen? How did this baby wrapped in a "burrito" blanket become a little person?

You are attached to your "blu blankie", however you sleep with a different stuffed animal almost every night. Sometimes you sleep with a shoebox or even a bread crumbs tin filled with two dozen or so plastic animals. You want to spread your love around. Many of your animals are "sick" lately, you wrap them up, kiss them, and tell them to sleep. You like telling people to sleep: "Sleep Mama!!" then when I close my eyes....shhh...I actually peek a lot...you creep up next to me and jump on me! Only to say again, "Go Sleepy Mama!", quickly run away and repeat the process 20 times.

When you hide behind the sheer curtains in our bedroom, your feet exposed, I see your smiles and somehow you believe I can't see you. My heart melts when you ask me to carry you up to bed "like baby" you say. You close your eyes and babble as if to say, "I'm just pretending to be a baby...take it all in Mama, I'm growing up...here's one last horaah with my cuteness."...also to add that you weigh 24 pounds which unfortunately is noticeably heavy for multiple "baby" trips up the stairs. I already dread the day you will not want me take you down the stairs, more than the day that I can't possibly carry you. 75% of the time you walk the stairs yourself, but if I let you walk the 95% that you want to - it takes 27.5 minutes per trip to do so - Listening as you tell me that you are holding the wall and that you want cheese, yellow cheese and milk, and you want to see "AdaLaina" (Adam & Alaina playmates) and that you wrapped your doggie up in the blanket, and you want yellow cheese.....

You humm and sing without real words, point your finger, spin around, shake your head so that your hair waves and skip to my little lou...but only when it's in the comfort of your home or in front of your mama or papa. How shy you are in front of others. Papa says you are like him, not so much shy as just observing the world, taking it all in. When a plane flys overhead, you say "I hear Mama" even before I do - or before I notice I mean.

Sometimes I stand outside your door and spy on you when you have just woken up and are babbling to yourself while still laying in a sleepy state. Sometimes you catch me and sit up suddenly, instantly ramble something about your blanket. The day begins and it rolls on. Somewhere in between giggles and discipline are unstructured meal times, structured schedules of who to meet and where, play time and mama and me play time. You count ...1 to 12 and enjoy repeating the numbers 8 through 11 over and over again. You think you are singing the alphabet but can only place the letters A, B, P and Y in the right places. "A B D B D B...." Books, books, books, thank God you love books and the occasional Moonbaer and Curious George. I spy is a favorite game, you ask me where the picture of the blue bug is and tease me by answering right before I was going to say! You will even tease Papa by offering him a piece of cheese, then pull it away from his mouth just before he bites. After bath time, when you are in your bundle of towel, after you fought with me washing your hair --- I think, we are so lucky, she is such a good kid. Sometimes I watch you sleep, even just a few moments. I'm enjoying life with you. Taking it all in if possible.

Someday soon you will be asking me questions, asking about bunnies and balloons and moons. I will answer as best I can, but I know nothing of moons and why sometimes they appear in the afternoon and linger in the mornings. In fact, one day you will find that I know very little.

I'm learning and trying and figuring it out as I go. Just as you are. With your speech and your songs and your life. And I still can't believe you exist. It's been two years and I guess I figured I would be used to you by now. But sometimes when I go to open your door in the morning there is a moment, and I think "did I really have a child? Is she here? It wasn't just a very long dream?"

And then you appear with a dried runny nose, Fonzy hair bangs and your feet up on the crib rails doing a handstand and then yes, there you are. I remember now.

You will always be my baby. Even if another baby arrives. Even when you grow up to be an adult --- so tall I have to stand on my toes to kiss your face (or bend down depending on if you got the Rumbaugh genes). You'll always be the reason for everything changing in the best way possible. You'll always be my first. My baby.

Thank you for reminding me that anything is possible. That the animals, even the crocodiles, are something to befriend, to not be afraid to dance to your own rhythm and that anytime is a perfect time to sing a new made-up song. Bubbles are magical. That time is short and life is long and there are so many things to be grateful for.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Vivienne Mae, Our little Lou.
Loving you,
Mama.