march madness

A friend sent me this...
being that March is on its way out..its somewhat still appropriate:

Well, they say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Or is
it the other way around? Either way, I'm not sure what they mean by that.
I don't mean to nitpick, but to me there's way too much animal imagery in the
world these days. It just obfuscates the issues and makes me feel like a
bird in headlights; like a horse with its head cut off; like a long-tailed
deer in a room full of rocking chairs. But it's a chicken-eat-chicken world
out there; so let's not put the cart before the dog. A cat in the hand is
worth two in the bush, and you can lead a wolf to sheep's clothing, but you
can't make him.......wear it. March is a super duper month.
In what other month do you have a holiday celebrating the resurrection of the
immortal spirit of our lord and savior Jesus Christ less than a fortnight
away from a bunch of beer twiddling Irish wankers with turned hearts and
twisted ankles? The answer? none, I tell you. Hence, the purpose of this
message: To wish each and every one of you a splendidly terrific and wacky
lucky special super good month of March. You know why I enjoy March? It's
the only month, next to May, that's also a verb. Not that March is "next
to" May; and May is technically a verbal auxiliary; but I digress.
Isn't that super? I knew you'd think so.